Not into astrology? Don't worry. We will make this a fun read regardless. Let's get started.
According to stargazers and planet watchers, cosmic chaos is upon us. Why? MERCURY IN RETROGRADE. Bum bum bummm...This means irritable humans, inflated egos, technology meltdowns, and travel nightmares. Fear not! Astrologers tell us that with a little work, we can thwart this planet's moody mischief. We collected some tips from the interwebs, and added some of our own, because LOL.
1. Do not overindulge.
That p̶i̶n̶t̶ half-gallon of ice cream will be extra regrettable with Mercury in retrograde. An abundance of anything during this time (including alcohol—sorry), is likely to make you lash out, resulting in arguments with those around you. Love sugar as much as we do? Let's just start apologizing now.
Laughs will be muy important during this tumultuous time, so let us highly recommend the aforementioned live album by folk singer, John Craigie. May we suggest(?) starting with his hilarious tune, "Don't Go Looking Through The Pictures on My Phone."
3. Think twice (or as many times as it takes, really) before an impulse buy.
Word on the street is Mercury likes us to be frivolous with our spending. Psh, rude. Anyway, to protect your piggybank, avoid the car dealership and Amazon Prime...that "one-click buy" button will surely take you down if the car salesman doesn't get you first.
Always a good idea! But we're not talking about regular breathing; we're talking deep belly breaths that start low and move up to your chest. Try five in a row and then repeat, but please don't pass out because Mercury probably loves lawsuits. Check out this Bustle article for a full list of meditations and better instruction.
5. Keep a lookout for a one-time-only Bath Bomb, available Thursday, August 2, 2018, at 8 am PST in very limited quantities. It's bound to help you prevail!
There you have it! Let's get through this together. It only lasts until August 19th, so we should be fine...totally fine.